February 18, 2009
BSU to Market New Products In Face of Recession
Broncojuice was just the beginning.
It was announced yesterday that BSU plans to add several more products to its branding line this year. Similiar to the Broncojuice plan, these products will be more or less Bronco versions of products that are already available. The University, faced with the fact that they are able to generate hundreds of thousands of dollars per year for academics with their football program and yet only get one student on the deans list, are refocusing their attention on education.
"Obviously we're spinning our wheels," a representative of the school said during a press conference yesterday. "We can spend millions of dollars to get one student on the deans list. Why can't we spend billions of dollars to get 10?" A slide show depicting the soon to be released products was included in the press conference. Here's the list, and the products tag lines:
1. Bronco Body Spray. This spray will be similiar to AXE, only sold in an orange and blue can. Unlike AXE, however, this spray is not reported to drive women into a sexual frenzy unless they are from California or weigh 400 pounds.
Tagline: "Bronco Body Spray... If she's drunk enough, she won't even notice you wearing it."
2. Broncoffee. Get ready for dozens of roadside stands to start popping up all over Boise promoting this highly caffeinated roast. The Barista's will be clad in blue and orange face paint, t-shirts, track pants, and aprons.
Tagline: "Why wait for 15 minutes in line at Starbucks for a 6$ coffee, when you can sit in your car for 15 minutes in line for a $12 BRONCOCOFFEE!"
3. Broncovision. These Sony knock-offs will give you the highest picture clarity of any 720 DPI television out there. The tint and hue have already been adjusted, so no matter what you're watching all the dark colors look blue and all the light colors look orange. You could be watching the Dallas Cowboys football game and swear it's the BSU Broncos.
Tagline: "See the world the way it was meant to be seen. With BRONCOVISION."
4. Broncoleather Collection. Finally, a furniture line created with the true Bronco fan in mind. This high quality, hand crafted furniture will be made in the Woodworking 201 classes at BSU. Through a generous donation from the National Horse Racing Association, pelts from real broncos who have passed on are being tanned, then dyed blue or orange for the ultimate Broncoleather feel.
Tagline: "Real men don't buy leather, they buy Broncoleather."
5. The Bronco Innie. While Ford has the naming rights to the Ford Bronco, BSU will not let that stop them from designing a luxury SUV called the Innie. This SUV will come in Bronco Blue or Clown Orange, and feature many of the same ameneties as the Audi Q7, including broncoleather seats.
Tagline: "The only thing better than an Audi, is an Innie." (say it out loud)
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP- Washington DC
For 10 years, the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) has been the determining factor in who gets to play for the "Division I" college football national championship. Even before its inception the determination of who received this prestigous honor has been under fire, and with the emergence of "BCS" Busters Utah, BSU, and Hawaii in the last 3 years, that fire has garnered presidential attention. Coupled with a television deal worth half a billion dollars to continue the BCS b...
Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
11-1-08
Vandals Leave their Mark on Smurfturf
Boise-- A string of burglaries and vandalism came to a head on halloween night. In what can only be considered the greatest organized criminal activity ever in the COU, several vandals, armed with spray paint and Rit dye have painted the blue turf green.
The blue astro-turf, originally installed in 1986, has been an iconic monument to the progressive thinking of residents of the Boise area. Often thought of as a gimmick, the "smurfturf" h... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
Monday Oct. 27, 2008
After a remarkable win for the University of Idaho Vandals on Saturday against the New Mexico State Aggies, the university has decided to auction off several items from this season that have been deamed un-useable. The auction will be held online via Baconpress.com from Tuesday Oct. 28 through Friday Oct. 31. People who would like to participate can sign up at www.baconpress.com keyword "AUCTION." All proceeds will go straight to the Vandal Scholarship Fund.
There ar... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 22nd, 2008
Vandals Land a "Family" of Recruits
Highschoolsuperstarathletes.com is reporting that Idaho has landed seven new verbals committs to come play Vandal football next year.
Jarrod, Jayson, Jeremy, Joshua, Jackson, James, and Bo Michaelson, all brothers born within 2 hours of each other, have all verbally committed to playing for the silver and gold next fall. The septuplets, born from October 29th, 1989 to October 30th, 1989 are all sons of Jeremiah and... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 14th, 2008
Vandals Go the Way of the Guberif
The University of Idaho is ready to roll out a new marketing campaign. Or, more precisely, roll on.
Taking a cue from an old State Department of Lands campaign which painted the slogan "Don't be a guberif" (firebug spelled backwards), the Vandals are set to start vandalizing roadways all over the Panhandle. The slogan "It's OK to be a Nafladnav." The University is concetrating on northern Idaho to begin with, and w... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 7th, 2008
U of I To Roll Renovations With Good Business
There will soon be a new "buzz" over at the University of Idaho.
The Vandals have announced today that a partnership between INEL and independent entrepreneur C. "Monty" Burns has been reached in aiding the renovations of the University's landmark stadium, the Kibbey Dome. Burns has agreed to a deal rumored to be worth millions to "rip the lid off" the old dome.
Construction, or de-construction, will b... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 1st, 2008
Akey to Reveal New "Mirror" Scheme
It's been a long season for the Idaho Vandal football team. It's not even half over.
At 1-4 thus far into the season, ad once again looking up from the cellar of the WAC standings, Idaho is looking to spice things up this Saturday vs Nevada. Apparently, the coaching staff is preparing to do something no other FBS football team has ever done before.
For the first time ever, all the offensive starters will play defe... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID September 25th, 2008
Akey to Release Scoring Stimulis Package
Rumors are flying today in Moscow, of a special Scoring Stimulis Package being put together by the University of Idaho coaches. The package, which is said to include 5 good running backs, and several other good offensive players, will be the forefront for helping the Idaho Vandals out of their current scoring crisis. Coach Robb Akey is believed to be speaking this evening on how his field-general, Nathan Enderl... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
These are stories, originally written for Scout.com in the forums for the Idaho Vandal football team. The disclaimer says that none of this is true, and if it does come true, then I am more special than originally thought! Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
February 18, 2009
BSU to Market New Products In Face of Recession
Broncojuice was just the beginning.
It was announced yesterday that BSU plans to add several more products to its branding line this year. Similiar to the Broncojuice plan, these products will be more or less Bronco versions of products that are already available. The University, faced with the fact that they are able to generate hundreds of thousands of dollars per year for academics with their football program and yet only get one student on the deans list, are refocusing their attention on education.
"Obviously we're spinning our wheels," a representative of the school said during a press conference yesterday. "We can spend millions of dollars to get one student on the deans list. Why can't we spend billions of dollars to get 10?" A slide show depicting the soon to be released products was included in the press conference. Here's the list, and the products tag lines:
1. Bronco Body Spray. This spray will be similiar to AXE, only sold in an orange and blue can. Unlike AXE, however, this spray is not reported to drive women into a sexual frenzy unless they are from California or weigh 400 pounds.
Tagline: "Bronco Body Spray... If she's drunk enough, she won't even notice you wearing it."
2. Broncoffee. Get ready for dozens of roadside stands to start popping up all over Boise promoting this highly caffeinated roast. The Barista's will be clad in blue and orange face paint, t-shirts, track pants, and aprons.
Tagline: "Why wait for 15 minutes in line at Starbucks for a 6$ coffee, when you can sit in your car for 15 minutes in line for a $12 BRONCOCOFFEE!"
3. Broncovision. These Sony knock-offs will give you the highest picture clarity of any 720 DPI television out there. The tint and hue have already been adjusted, so no matter what you're watching all the dark colors look blue and all the light colors look orange. You could be watching the Dallas Cowboys football game and swear it's the BSU Broncos.
Tagline: "See the world the way it was meant to be seen. With BRONCOVISION."
4. Broncoleather Collection. Finally, a furniture line created with the true Bronco fan in mind. This high quality, hand crafted furniture will be made in the Woodworking 201 classes at BSU. Through a generous donation from the National Horse Racing Association, pelts from real broncos who have passed on are being tanned, then dyed blue or orange for the ultimate Broncoleather feel.
Tagline: "Real men don't buy leather, they buy Broncoleather."
5. The Bronco Innie. While Ford has the naming rights to the Ford Bronco, BSU will not let that stop them from designing a luxury SUV called the Innie. This SUV will come in Bronco Blue or Clown Orange, and feature many of the same ameneties as the Audi Q7, including broncoleather seats.
Tagline: "The only thing better than an Audi, is an Innie." (say it out loud)
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP- Washington DC
For 10 years, the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) has been the determining factor in who gets to play for the "Division I" college football national championship. Even before its inception the determination of who received this prestigous honor has been under fire, and with the emergence of "BCS" Busters Utah, BSU, and Hawaii in the last 3 years, that fire has garnered presidential attention. Coupled with a television deal worth half a billion dollars to continue the BCS b...
Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
11-1-08
Vandals Leave their Mark on Smurfturf
Boise-- A string of burglaries and vandalism came to a head on halloween night. In what can only be considered the greatest organized criminal activity ever in the COU, several vandals, armed with spray paint and Rit dye have painted the blue turf green.
The blue astro-turf, originally installed in 1986, has been an iconic monument to the progressive thinking of residents of the Boise area. Often thought of as a gimmick, the "smurfturf" h... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
Monday Oct. 27, 2008
After a remarkable win for the University of Idaho Vandals on Saturday against the New Mexico State Aggies, the university has decided to auction off several items from this season that have been deamed un-useable. The auction will be held online via Baconpress.com from Tuesday Oct. 28 through Friday Oct. 31. People who would like to participate can sign up at www.baconpress.com keyword "AUCTION." All proceeds will go straight to the Vandal Scholarship Fund.
There ar... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 22nd, 2008
Vandals Land a "Family" of Recruits
Highschoolsuperstarathletes.com is reporting that Idaho has landed seven new verbals committs to come play Vandal football next year.
Jarrod, Jayson, Jeremy, Joshua, Jackson, James, and Bo Michaelson, all brothers born within 2 hours of each other, have all verbally committed to playing for the silver and gold next fall. The septuplets, born from October 29th, 1989 to October 30th, 1989 are all sons of Jeremiah and... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 14th, 2008
Vandals Go the Way of the Guberif
The University of Idaho is ready to roll out a new marketing campaign. Or, more precisely, roll on.
Taking a cue from an old State Department of Lands campaign which painted the slogan "Don't be a guberif" (firebug spelled backwards), the Vandals are set to start vandalizing roadways all over the Panhandle. The slogan "It's OK to be a Nafladnav." The University is concetrating on northern Idaho to begin with, and w... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 7th, 2008
U of I To Roll Renovations With Good Business
There will soon be a new "buzz" over at the University of Idaho.
The Vandals have announced today that a partnership between INEL and independent entrepreneur C. "Monty" Burns has been reached in aiding the renovations of the University's landmark stadium, the Kibbey Dome. Burns has agreed to a deal rumored to be worth millions to "rip the lid off" the old dome.
Construction, or de-construction, will b... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID October 1st, 2008
Akey to Reveal New "Mirror" Scheme
It's been a long season for the Idaho Vandal football team. It's not even half over.
At 1-4 thus far into the season, ad once again looking up from the cellar of the WAC standings, Idaho is looking to spice things up this Saturday vs Nevada. Apparently, the coaching staff is preparing to do something no other FBS football team has ever done before.
For the first time ever, all the offensive starters will play defe... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
AP -- Moscow, ID September 25th, 2008
Akey to Release Scoring Stimulis Package
Rumors are flying today in Moscow, of a special Scoring Stimulis Package being put together by the University of Idaho coaches. The package, which is said to include 5 good running backs, and several other good offensive players, will be the forefront for helping the Idaho Vandals out of their current scoring crisis. Coach Robb Akey is believed to be speaking this evening on how his field-general, Nathan Enderl... Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
January 22, 2009
These are stories, originally written for Scout.com in the forums for the Idaho Vandal football team. The disclaimer says that none of this is true, and if it does come true, then I am more special than originally thought! Continue reading...
Posted by Rob Bacon.
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About the Author
| "Vandal" Bacon |
| Somewhere Near Seattle |
So, obviously, I am someone with A LOT of free time on their hands. Beyond being a rabid Idaho Vandals fan, I'm also a musician and a freelance "writer." I grew up in little Juliaetta, Idaho, and lived there until my junior year of high school when I moved to Couer d Alene. I graduated from Lake City high school with the first graduating class in 1995, and wrote the alma mater for that school. Despite academic success, i moved to Seattle right after graduation to become famous. That didn't work. I eventually moved to the Richland, WA and began attending Columbia Basin Community College. I became involved in theater, and took two plays to the Kennedy Center ACTF Regionals, winning a regional Irene Ryan Award in 1996 for my role as Jody in Stephen Deitz play "Lonely Planet." At the same time, i continued my pursuit of music and joined Jon Warner and Dan Jenkins in the band Myron. In early summer of 1997, the three of us moved to Everett WA to be closer to the Seattle music scene. We played quite a few shows and made quite a name for ourselves. We were approached by UP! Records, but unfortunately the band dissolved before anything good came from it. At the time, I was working at Target to pay the bills, where I met my wife. When the band dissolved, her and I got married. In 2004, She bought me a little 4-track recording studio and I began writing music again. I made my first CD, and gave it to my stepson with the words "for Gage" written in sharpie on it. From that day forward, my "band" name has been Four Gage. The marriage is now over, but my love for music and making people laugh will never end!
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