11-1-08

Vandals Leave their Mark on Smurfturf  

Boise--  A string of burglaries and vandalism came to a head on halloween night.  In what can only be considered the greatest organized criminal activity ever in the COU, several vandals, armed with spray paint and Rit dye have painted the blue turf green.

The blue astro-turf, originally installed in 1986, has been an iconic monument to the progressive thinking of residents of the Boise area.  Often thought of as a gimmick, the "smurfturf" has been home to the BSU Broncos, countless high school games, and the Humanitarian Bowl.  Willie MacMoran, groundskeeper for the Blue Turf, said the damage is too severe to repair.  The University will consider replacing the smurfturf after the H-bowl on Dec-30.

Groundskeeper Willie was visibly distraught as he addressed members of the media. In a thick Irish accent he proclaimed "I've tended the smurfturf for nay one 22 years.  Preening fake blue grass is my life, it's all i've got.  I hope they find the vermin who did this and string them up by their toes and beat them with metal rakes."

Police have discovered security video, which shows a group of 30-40 men, dressed in gold and black, repainting the field green with countless cans of spray paint and barrels of what has been identified as green Rit Dye.  A representative from the Ada County Sheriff's department had this to say:

"The crime wave that has spread through the greater Boise area is the primary concern for all of our officers.  We have every reason to believe that the group responsible for last nights terrorism of the only pride this city has, is the same group that two weeks ago stole every toilet in the Police stations.  Unfortunately, right now we just have nothing to go on."

A representative from the University said they are also looking at enclosing the field.  "We will do anything in our power to protect our beloved field.  If that means putting a dome up to avoid this kind of situation in the future, that's what we'll do."