BSU money making
Posted by Rob Bacon on Wednesday, February 18, 2009
BSU to Market New Products In Face of Recession
Broncojuice was just the beginning.
It was announced yesterday that BSU plans to add several more products to its branding line this year. Similiar to the Broncojuice plan, these products will be more or less Bronco versions of products that are already available. The University, faced with the fact that they are able to generate hundreds of thousands of dollars per year for academics with their football program and yet only get one student on the deans list, are refocusing their attention on education.
"Obviously we're spinning our wheels," a representative of the school said during a press conference yesterday. "We can spend millions of dollars to get one student on the deans list. Why can't we spend billions of dollars to get 10?" A slide show depicting the soon to be released products was included in the press conference. Here's the list, and the products tag lines:
1. Bronco Body Spray. This spray will be similiar to AXE, only sold in an orange and blue can. Unlike AXE, however, this spray is not reported to drive women into a sexual frenzy unless they are from California or weigh 400 pounds.
Tagline: "Bronco Body Spray... If she's drunk enough, she won't even notice you wearing it."
2. Broncoffee. Get ready for dozens of roadside stands to start popping up all over Boise promoting this highly caffeinated roast. The Barista's will be clad in blue and orange face paint, t-shirts, track pants, and aprons.
Tagline: "Why wait for 15 minutes in line at Starbucks for a 6$ coffee, when you can sit in your car for 15 minutes in line for a $12 BRONCOCOFFEE!"
3. Broncovision. These Sony knock-offs will give you the highest picture clarity of any 720 DPI television out there. The tint and hue have already been adjusted, so no matter what you're watching all the dark colors look blue and all the light colors look orange. You could be watching the Dallas Cowboys football game and swear it's the BSU Broncos.
Tagline: "See the world the way it was meant to be seen. With BRONCOVISION."
4. Broncoleather Collection. Finally, a furniture line created with the true Bronco fan in mind. This high quality, hand crafted furniture will be made in the Woodworking 201 classes at BSU. Through a generous donation from the National Horse Racing Association, pelts from real broncos who have passed on are being tanned, then dyed blue or orange for the ultimate Broncoleather feel.
Tagline: "Real men don't buy leather, they buy Broncoleather."
5. The Bronco Innie. While Ford has the naming rights to the Ford Bronco, BSU will not let that stop them from designing a luxury SUV called the Innie. This SUV will come in Bronco Blue or Clown Orange, and feature many of the same ameneties as the Audi Q7, including broncoleather seats.
Tagline: "The only thing better than an Audi, is an Innie." (say it out loud)
Broncojuice was just the beginning.
It was announced yesterday that BSU plans to add several more products to its branding line this year. Similiar to the Broncojuice plan, these products will be more or less Bronco versions of products that are already available. The University, faced with the fact that they are able to generate hundreds of thousands of dollars per year for academics with their football program and yet only get one student on the deans list, are refocusing their attention on education.
"Obviously we're spinning our wheels," a representative of the school said during a press conference yesterday. "We can spend millions of dollars to get one student on the deans list. Why can't we spend billions of dollars to get 10?" A slide show depicting the soon to be released products was included in the press conference. Here's the list, and the products tag lines:
1. Bronco Body Spray. This spray will be similiar to AXE, only sold in an orange and blue can. Unlike AXE, however, this spray is not reported to drive women into a sexual frenzy unless they are from California or weigh 400 pounds.
Tagline: "Bronco Body Spray... If she's drunk enough, she won't even notice you wearing it."
2. Broncoffee. Get ready for dozens of roadside stands to start popping up all over Boise promoting this highly caffeinated roast. The Barista's will be clad in blue and orange face paint, t-shirts, track pants, and aprons.
Tagline: "Why wait for 15 minutes in line at Starbucks for a 6$ coffee, when you can sit in your car for 15 minutes in line for a $12 BRONCOCOFFEE!"
3. Broncovision. These Sony knock-offs will give you the highest picture clarity of any 720 DPI television out there. The tint and hue have already been adjusted, so no matter what you're watching all the dark colors look blue and all the light colors look orange. You could be watching the Dallas Cowboys football game and swear it's the BSU Broncos.
Tagline: "See the world the way it was meant to be seen. With BRONCOVISION."
4. Broncoleather Collection. Finally, a furniture line created with the true Bronco fan in mind. This high quality, hand crafted furniture will be made in the Woodworking 201 classes at BSU. Through a generous donation from the National Horse Racing Association, pelts from real broncos who have passed on are being tanned, then dyed blue or orange for the ultimate Broncoleather feel.
Tagline: "Real men don't buy leather, they buy Broncoleather."
5. The Bronco Innie. While Ford has the naming rights to the Ford Bronco, BSU will not let that stop them from designing a luxury SUV called the Innie. This SUV will come in Bronco Blue or Clown Orange, and feature many of the same ameneties as the Audi Q7, including broncoleather seats.
Tagline: "The only thing better than an Audi, is an Innie." (say it out loud)